Friday, January 30, 2009
Introductory Seminar Update
The introductory seminar on Feb. 20 and 21 at Emmanuel Episcopal Church, Mercer Island, will now offer child care. When making a reservation please indicate if child care is needed. See details on the seminar below.
Common Difficulties in Meditation Practice
We all need encouragement and support for continued faithfulness in the daily practice of prayer and meditation. That is why meditating with a group and having an available instructor as resource for your spiritual practice is so foundational for what we think of as spiritual growth. I want to address briefly here a couple of areas of concern that are often viewed as difficulties in meditation practice, and what lies beneath them.
The first is something I’m sure we have all had ample experience with: sleepiness. Sleepiness in meditation comes in a variety of forms: outright napping, a dullness of awareness, lethargy, fogginess, tiredness. Attentiveness and wakefulness are lacking at these times. Meditation is “sitting awake.” So what do these forms of sleepiness show us?
They can be symptomatic of the culture in which we live and the speed with which we are expected to work and the volume we are expected to accomplish. Within the setting of instantaneous communication where we expect to get what we demand in short order, we then rush through the workday trying to keep ahead of the growing pile in the in-basket, or ballooning number of emails coming at us on our blackberries or iPhones, or laundry piling up because we can’t remember when the last day off was. We sit down to meditate and promptly take a nap. Or drowsiness can show us how out of touch we are with our bodies, that we would escape into sleep rather than sit awake with what is there. We may be using sleepiness as avoidance expressing our reluctance to look at what is there in meditation, just as we would experience laziness and reluctance in facing difficult tasks. Sleepiness that comes from tiredness means we need more rest, but sleepiness can also come from resistance when we don’t want to face, remember or experience something. This indicates fear and wanting to avoid difficulty. We may not want to face loneliness, grief, emptiness or loss of control.
Look at sleepiness with compassion. The body is tired. Are you so busy that you do not get enough rest? Are you afraid to rest. In rest we become quiet. Are you afraid of the silence you would have to face in rest and no activity. Is there an inner judge driving you, telling you that you are lazy? The inactivity of meditation is anything but being lazy! Sleepiness in meditation can serve to bring us to compassionate observation of the driven quality of our lives in avoidance of the silence in which we would have to face the truth of ourselves.
Then there is the flip side to sleepiness – restlessness. Like drowsiness, restlessness can come as a response to something we don’t want to feel. There is both a restlessness of body and a restlessness of mind. In both cases meditation becomes scattered, and it is difficult for attention to remain in the present moment. Again as with sleepiness, observe the restlessness without condemnation or judgment. Examine what it feels like. What does it do as you sit open to it? Be with the restlessness of mind without getting caught up in its story, noting simply how it bounces around. Trust that the restlessness is temporary, and the conditions that feed it will inevitably change. Restlessness, I am coming to discover, is a jumbled series of thoughts, emotions and sensations, nothing solid or fixed, transitory and insubstantial. And it appears that restlessness just might be symptomatic of a blockage of free creativity waiting to be expressed in our lives, an unexpected gift for us to discover.
Behind all the stuff that comes up during meditation – the emotions, the agenda of the mind – is fear, fear that is a grasping for something we think we desperately need, and fear that is both a contraction away from the reality of life around us with all its suffering, and also a contraction away from the love of God that is there whether asked for or not. That unqualified love is so vast it is perceived as impersonal and threatening to swallow us up. That love eclipses our ego identification and renders it inane and inconsequential. It IS fearful to fall into the hands of the Living God, for God is Love.
The ability of meditation to bring wholeness and healing comes as we are enabled to recognize where in our lives we are contracting away from that wholeness. When we are not contracted we discover that the body and mind have a natural wholeness and expansiveness, that are characterized by joy, clarity, a sense of well being, confidence and a deep sense of knowing. Keep meditating!
Blessings in the Lamb,
Beverly
The first is something I’m sure we have all had ample experience with: sleepiness. Sleepiness in meditation comes in a variety of forms: outright napping, a dullness of awareness, lethargy, fogginess, tiredness. Attentiveness and wakefulness are lacking at these times. Meditation is “sitting awake.” So what do these forms of sleepiness show us?
They can be symptomatic of the culture in which we live and the speed with which we are expected to work and the volume we are expected to accomplish. Within the setting of instantaneous communication where we expect to get what we demand in short order, we then rush through the workday trying to keep ahead of the growing pile in the in-basket, or ballooning number of emails coming at us on our blackberries or iPhones, or laundry piling up because we can’t remember when the last day off was. We sit down to meditate and promptly take a nap. Or drowsiness can show us how out of touch we are with our bodies, that we would escape into sleep rather than sit awake with what is there. We may be using sleepiness as avoidance expressing our reluctance to look at what is there in meditation, just as we would experience laziness and reluctance in facing difficult tasks. Sleepiness that comes from tiredness means we need more rest, but sleepiness can also come from resistance when we don’t want to face, remember or experience something. This indicates fear and wanting to avoid difficulty. We may not want to face loneliness, grief, emptiness or loss of control.
Look at sleepiness with compassion. The body is tired. Are you so busy that you do not get enough rest? Are you afraid to rest. In rest we become quiet. Are you afraid of the silence you would have to face in rest and no activity. Is there an inner judge driving you, telling you that you are lazy? The inactivity of meditation is anything but being lazy! Sleepiness in meditation can serve to bring us to compassionate observation of the driven quality of our lives in avoidance of the silence in which we would have to face the truth of ourselves.
Then there is the flip side to sleepiness – restlessness. Like drowsiness, restlessness can come as a response to something we don’t want to feel. There is both a restlessness of body and a restlessness of mind. In both cases meditation becomes scattered, and it is difficult for attention to remain in the present moment. Again as with sleepiness, observe the restlessness without condemnation or judgment. Examine what it feels like. What does it do as you sit open to it? Be with the restlessness of mind without getting caught up in its story, noting simply how it bounces around. Trust that the restlessness is temporary, and the conditions that feed it will inevitably change. Restlessness, I am coming to discover, is a jumbled series of thoughts, emotions and sensations, nothing solid or fixed, transitory and insubstantial. And it appears that restlessness just might be symptomatic of a blockage of free creativity waiting to be expressed in our lives, an unexpected gift for us to discover.
Behind all the stuff that comes up during meditation – the emotions, the agenda of the mind – is fear, fear that is a grasping for something we think we desperately need, and fear that is both a contraction away from the reality of life around us with all its suffering, and also a contraction away from the love of God that is there whether asked for or not. That unqualified love is so vast it is perceived as impersonal and threatening to swallow us up. That love eclipses our ego identification and renders it inane and inconsequential. It IS fearful to fall into the hands of the Living God, for God is Love.
The ability of meditation to bring wholeness and healing comes as we are enabled to recognize where in our lives we are contracting away from that wholeness. When we are not contracted we discover that the body and mind have a natural wholeness and expansiveness, that are characterized by joy, clarity, a sense of well being, confidence and a deep sense of knowing. Keep meditating!
Blessings in the Lamb,
Beverly
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Epiphany 2009 Message
[sermon preached at Emmanuel Episcopal Church, Mercer Island, January 11]
I had the joy and delight of being with my grandsons during Christmas,
and I explained to Jude, my oldest grandson,
that at Christmas we were actually celebrating somebody’s birthday
– Jesus!
And on his birthday, we give gifts to each other.
Jesus would have wanted it that way, I think,
seeing Christ in one another in this offering of gifts of love to others.
The wise men, the Magi were the first to bring birthday presents to Jesus:
gold, frankincense and myrrh.
This is not just a nice story about visiting dignitaries being added
to the lovely tableau of the manger scene, the Christmas crèche.
This is an event of enormous political and cultural and moral consequence.
The story starts with huge assumptions about who the Christ Child was:
the wise men from the East assume the sign in the heavens
indicate the birth of a king.
King Herod assumes a political rival to his throne.
Herod is frightened, and given who Herod was and what he was like,
if Herod was upset,
all the rest of Jerusalem had good cause also be frightened.
This was a ruler know for his ruthless use of power.
No good could come of this; innocent lives would be lost,
sacrificed to the continuation of power and political control.
The wise men, the Magi come to Bethlehem and find Jesus and his mother
and give their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh,
gifts fit for a king,
but as it turns out, gifts they handed over to a humble family
that could hardly look royal.
And so it was that these expensive gifts
probably provided the means by which
Joseph was able to take Mary and the baby Jesus to Egypt
in order to escape Herod’s purge of Bethlehem,
the slaughter of the innocents.
The slaughter of innocents
as the backdrop for our Lord’s nativity,
he who would at his maturity take on all the world’s suffering
and bear it himself on the Cross.
And so we enter the Epiphany season in the church year.
Epiphany is a key concept in being a Christian, a disciple of Jesus,
Epiphany as a key concept in living a Christian life.
Epiphany is, I would say, how we do that.
So what does the word Epiphany mean? –
making manifest, bringing to light, showing forth.
In the Epiphany season, then, the emphasis is on Light,
Jesus as the Light of the World,
and that Light shining brightly in a dark, dark world,
a world desperately in need of Light.
Jesus is the Light to the nations – and notice the plural.
Not just to his own people, where he happened to live,
but to all peoples, tribes, and nations.
On the Feast of the Epiphany the Magi represent the nations.
So we see that Jesus, and what he offered, was
beyond one country, one people, and one religion.
What he brought is something universal.
Do you know where the first churches were?
where the first Christians lived?
The first “church” was in Egypt – the Egyptians make that claim.
They take great pride in the fact
that they offered hospitality and sanctuary
to the Holy Family as displaced refugees.
There are many beautiful legends among the Coptic churches of Egypt
about Jesus and the Holy Family sojourning there,
about their travels around Egypt
and miracles attributed to Jesus as a toddler.
Jesus as a light to the nations even as a toddler!
There is the Light of the World, and then there is being lights to the world,
about our engagement with Epiphany, our role as disciples.
This is about our witness regarding Jesus.
Now this presupposes that we know the One about whom we testify.
This presupposes that we are aware that His Light is in us.
This is VERY important,
because knowing Jesus,
knowing his liberation, his salvation, his mercy, his grace,
is not just for our own sake, my own well-being, my benefit alone,
but for the sake of the whole world, the whole created order,
for the sake of every living, breathing thing.
The Light of the World is not our exclusive possession,
as though we could even think that we could possess it.
This Light being manifest to the world, this Epiphany of God,
is for the sake of Jew and Gentile alike,
such as in a call to reconciliation and peace,
peace in that very part of the world.
Manifesting the Light of Christ is essential
for the sake of all victims of prejudice and discrimination,
so that this Light might shine as a beacon in the world’s darkness.
This Light is for the sake of healing and unity,
for the poor, the homeless, the hungry and the abandoned,
for the sick and the dying,
for those in power, in positions of leadership and authority.
Wherever there is human need,
wherever there is despair from lack of hope,
wherever there are cries of loneliness and suffering,
there is the obligation to share the good news we have been graced with.
To know Jesus is not just about our own individual relationships.
You and I cannot be separated from the rest of creation.
If I truly know Jesus then I have no leave
not to be a Light-bearer.
You might remember that
every time you see the acolytes carrying candles
in the Gospel procession.
If you get near the Gospel, and the message it conveys,
and the person it is talking about, Jesus,
then you are going to get lit like a candle,
and despite yourself you will be giving off light.
Being an Epiphany Light-bearer is not an option.
It’s part of the package.
Now, in the Epiphany carols,
we can find instances of singing about bringing gifts to the cradle.
The obvious one is “We three kings…”
In “Brightest and best of the stars of the morning”
various precious gifts are offered,
but verse 4 tells what is even more precious:
Vainly we offer each ample oblation,
vainly with gifts would his favor secure,
richer by far is the heart’s adoration,
dearer to God are the prayers of the poor.
Likewise in the carol, “In the bleak midwinter,” verse 4
What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
if I were a wise man, I would do my part;
yet what I can I give him – give my heart.
The best gift to bring to Jesus is one’s self,
openness of heart, willingness to listen to the Lord.
so that we may KNOW him
and thus be lights manifesting -
Come to communion bearing your gift, your offering
of yourself, your intention, your willingness.
And receive his gift for you – his very self,
offered to you in this very concrete way through bread and wine.
Jesus himself, through the Holy Spirit, will teach you
all you need to know about being a Light-bearer.
Jesus himself, through the Holy Spirit, will be the Light
that shines through you, operating at his agency,
not hampered by our ignorance
or our resistance or our screw-ups.
I find immense good news about this promise
in the words of St. Paul in the epistle reading from Ephesians for today:
(verse 7) Of this gospel I have become a servant
according to the gift of God’s grace that was given me
by the working of God’s power.
See? Even the work we do, the service, the ministry is not our own,
but according to the gift of grace
and God’s power providing the energy source.
That’s a pretty good deal.
So let us bring the gift of our heart to the Christ Child,
the heart more valued by the Lord
than gold, frankincense and myrrh.
I had the joy and delight of being with my grandsons during Christmas,
and I explained to Jude, my oldest grandson,
that at Christmas we were actually celebrating somebody’s birthday
– Jesus!
And on his birthday, we give gifts to each other.
Jesus would have wanted it that way, I think,
seeing Christ in one another in this offering of gifts of love to others.
The wise men, the Magi were the first to bring birthday presents to Jesus:
gold, frankincense and myrrh.
This is not just a nice story about visiting dignitaries being added
to the lovely tableau of the manger scene, the Christmas crèche.
This is an event of enormous political and cultural and moral consequence.
The story starts with huge assumptions about who the Christ Child was:
the wise men from the East assume the sign in the heavens
indicate the birth of a king.
King Herod assumes a political rival to his throne.
Herod is frightened, and given who Herod was and what he was like,
if Herod was upset,
all the rest of Jerusalem had good cause also be frightened.
This was a ruler know for his ruthless use of power.
No good could come of this; innocent lives would be lost,
sacrificed to the continuation of power and political control.
The wise men, the Magi come to Bethlehem and find Jesus and his mother
and give their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh,
gifts fit for a king,
but as it turns out, gifts they handed over to a humble family
that could hardly look royal.
And so it was that these expensive gifts
probably provided the means by which
Joseph was able to take Mary and the baby Jesus to Egypt
in order to escape Herod’s purge of Bethlehem,
the slaughter of the innocents.
The slaughter of innocents
as the backdrop for our Lord’s nativity,
he who would at his maturity take on all the world’s suffering
and bear it himself on the Cross.
And so we enter the Epiphany season in the church year.
Epiphany is a key concept in being a Christian, a disciple of Jesus,
Epiphany as a key concept in living a Christian life.
Epiphany is, I would say, how we do that.
So what does the word Epiphany mean? –
making manifest, bringing to light, showing forth.
In the Epiphany season, then, the emphasis is on Light,
Jesus as the Light of the World,
and that Light shining brightly in a dark, dark world,
a world desperately in need of Light.
Jesus is the Light to the nations – and notice the plural.
Not just to his own people, where he happened to live,
but to all peoples, tribes, and nations.
On the Feast of the Epiphany the Magi represent the nations.
So we see that Jesus, and what he offered, was
beyond one country, one people, and one religion.
What he brought is something universal.
Do you know where the first churches were?
where the first Christians lived?
The first “church” was in Egypt – the Egyptians make that claim.
They take great pride in the fact
that they offered hospitality and sanctuary
to the Holy Family as displaced refugees.
There are many beautiful legends among the Coptic churches of Egypt
about Jesus and the Holy Family sojourning there,
about their travels around Egypt
and miracles attributed to Jesus as a toddler.
Jesus as a light to the nations even as a toddler!
There is the Light of the World, and then there is being lights to the world,
about our engagement with Epiphany, our role as disciples.
This is about our witness regarding Jesus.
Now this presupposes that we know the One about whom we testify.
This presupposes that we are aware that His Light is in us.
This is VERY important,
because knowing Jesus,
knowing his liberation, his salvation, his mercy, his grace,
is not just for our own sake, my own well-being, my benefit alone,
but for the sake of the whole world, the whole created order,
for the sake of every living, breathing thing.
The Light of the World is not our exclusive possession,
as though we could even think that we could possess it.
This Light being manifest to the world, this Epiphany of God,
is for the sake of Jew and Gentile alike,
such as in a call to reconciliation and peace,
peace in that very part of the world.
Manifesting the Light of Christ is essential
for the sake of all victims of prejudice and discrimination,
so that this Light might shine as a beacon in the world’s darkness.
This Light is for the sake of healing and unity,
for the poor, the homeless, the hungry and the abandoned,
for the sick and the dying,
for those in power, in positions of leadership and authority.
Wherever there is human need,
wherever there is despair from lack of hope,
wherever there are cries of loneliness and suffering,
there is the obligation to share the good news we have been graced with.
To know Jesus is not just about our own individual relationships.
You and I cannot be separated from the rest of creation.
If I truly know Jesus then I have no leave
not to be a Light-bearer.
You might remember that
every time you see the acolytes carrying candles
in the Gospel procession.
If you get near the Gospel, and the message it conveys,
and the person it is talking about, Jesus,
then you are going to get lit like a candle,
and despite yourself you will be giving off light.
Being an Epiphany Light-bearer is not an option.
It’s part of the package.
Now, in the Epiphany carols,
we can find instances of singing about bringing gifts to the cradle.
The obvious one is “We three kings…”
In “Brightest and best of the stars of the morning”
various precious gifts are offered,
but verse 4 tells what is even more precious:
Vainly we offer each ample oblation,
vainly with gifts would his favor secure,
richer by far is the heart’s adoration,
dearer to God are the prayers of the poor.
Likewise in the carol, “In the bleak midwinter,” verse 4
What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
if I were a wise man, I would do my part;
yet what I can I give him – give my heart.
The best gift to bring to Jesus is one’s self,
openness of heart, willingness to listen to the Lord.
so that we may KNOW him
and thus be lights manifesting -
Come to communion bearing your gift, your offering
of yourself, your intention, your willingness.
And receive his gift for you – his very self,
offered to you in this very concrete way through bread and wine.
Jesus himself, through the Holy Spirit, will teach you
all you need to know about being a Light-bearer.
Jesus himself, through the Holy Spirit, will be the Light
that shines through you, operating at his agency,
not hampered by our ignorance
or our resistance or our screw-ups.
I find immense good news about this promise
in the words of St. Paul in the epistle reading from Ephesians for today:
(verse 7) Of this gospel I have become a servant
according to the gift of God’s grace that was given me
by the working of God’s power.
See? Even the work we do, the service, the ministry is not our own,
but according to the gift of grace
and God’s power providing the energy source.
That’s a pretty good deal.
So let us bring the gift of our heart to the Christ Child,
the heart more valued by the Lord
than gold, frankincense and myrrh.
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